9/11.

there are just some things in life that leave you speechless. kind of like the worst day in American history. that one will really get you.

today sort of came & went. i mean, of course i knew it was 9/11, but the sadness didn't set in until i got home & we were watching old shows, looking at pictures & going through videos of that day. that's when it really sunk in. 11 years. 11 YEARS. woah. that's when the tears start to flow & my heart starts to hurt.

everyone who lived back in the 'good ol' days' remembers Pearl Harbor. To some of us youngsters, we don't really understand the gravity of what they went through -- to us, it's a bit more than a good love story featuring Ben Affleck & Kate Beckinsale.

But 9/11, i think, is our day's Pearl Harbor, if not worse... i remember i was 12 & sitting in typing class with Mr. N... we had heard rumor of some planes, but when you're in 6th grade, i don't think you really understand the gravity of the situation -- plus, we were told to keep on typing & wait until history class... but you know something is up when your teacher is standing out in the hall or going across the hall to watch the other teacher's tv. then letting us know the 2nd plane had hit & it could be terrorist attacks... then try telling a bunch of 6th graders to stay calm...

but really, besides that, besides watching some news in mr. d's class later on, i don't remember much. i don't think at 12 you realize the magnitude of the situation. it's sort of dumbed down in your head to some bad guys are doing some really bad things... at least that's how it was for me. i remember sitting in front of the tv with the war going on & not even realizing we were technically in a war. 

being from a really itty bitty town, you are sheltered from a lot. i didn't necessarily feel the impact of the war where i was... or if i did, i didn't know it because i was too young, but when i go back & watch the horrific videos & look at the horrific picture, my heart is filled with sorrow & i feel like i just got punched in the gut. i think the older i get, the more tragic & sad that day becomes. it is sad how someone's heart can be so dark & twisted that something like 9/11 happens.

i didn't know anyone who died or was injured. i don't live in new york. but those are americans. those are humans. these people have families; children, husbands, wives, grandchildren & that breaks my heart. it is beyond the realm of comprehension in my mind of how one human being can have so much hatred in their heart for another human being... how does that happen? i can't phantom it.

and as far as bush goes... i like the guy... a lot. and i truly believe that he did what he believed to be his very best... the best for america... the best for you & me. and i commend him for that. can you imagine being brought that type of news? i don't think ANYONE besides him can. he gets so much flack for his decision, but let me ask you... being in his shoes, do you think you could have handled it better?

it's amazing how soon we forget something so tragic, so disgusting, so wrong. it's amazing how we forget what the truly important things are in life...what really matters... what's really worth 'fighting for'... do not forget this tragedy. forgive like God forgives, but do not forget because much can be learned from history.

i always want to say thank you every single time i see someone in uniform. for some reason, i always am shy or embarrassed. i sometimes say it..today i did, but it's hard... it's something that i keep striving to work on, but if you are able & courageous, i challenge you to. because wow do they deserve it... they are putting their lives on the line for us & that is the ultimate sacrifice. so...thank you.

take some time to pray. pray for those families who lost someone on this day 11 years ago... for the people effected... pray for wisdom, understanding, comfort & whatever they need from the Lord. after all, he is the ultimate & the creator of everything they need. 

love you & prayerfully yours,

j